


Twenty Random Facts about the Eldest Weasley Boys (Part One)

by sheafrotherdon



Category: fandom:hp:weasleys, hp:charlie weasley
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2005-09-19
Updated: 2005-09-19
Packaged: 2017-10-11 23:38:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/118414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sheafrotherdon/pseuds/sheafrotherdon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Exactly what it says.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Twenty Random Facts about the Eldest Weasley Boys (Part One)

~*~

Part One: Ten Random Facts about Charlie Weasley, by his Older, Smarter, and Much More Handsome Brother, Bill

1) If Charlie had been born a girl, my folks would have named him Mildred. You look real close, you can see the Mildred in him, especially round the eyes.

2) The first bit of magic Charlie managed was setting a tea-towel on fire when he was two. There's a bit of disagreement about why it happened – I think it's 'cause mum said he had to stop gnawing on the table-leg, but he reckons it's 'cause he wanted another biscuit before tea and mum wasn't having it. That's all beside the point in most ways, since the important part is _he set something on fire_. And from that point on we were screwed.

3) Charlie set Percy on fire once. We don't talk about it often, but it explains a lot.

4) When Charlie was six, dad came down with a righteous case of Kneazle flu, and mum went spare for about a week trying to take care of him and stop the twins from playing with his purple snot. Charlie, being an enterprising sort, stole dad's broom out the garden shed and decided he was going to just _fly_. First time he went up he managed to fall off and knock himself out on the roof of the chicken coop. Second time, he caught himself with one hand before he hit the dirt, and did three rounds of the back garden dangling from his broom, whistling 'get the bastard off the pitch'.

Third time up he was already better than me.

5) Charlie was seven when Uncle Gideon and Uncle Fabian took us down to Bournemouth to see the European Dragon Games. The only time Charlie moved in his seat was when Uncle Gideon pulled him back two inches so he'd stop drooling on the robes of the bloke sitting in front of him.

Later that night he jumped on my bed, stuck his finger in my face, and told me he was going to be a dragon tamer when he grew up. I said that was nice and punched him in the jaw for waking me up. He socked me in the stomach and said he was going to tell mum I fancied Hortense Grubbsnort from down the village shop.

Like most things, that night ended up with me getting my nose broken, Charlie scratching at a livid case of green and purple hives, and both of us laughing hysterically until we fell asleep on the rug between our beds.

6) Garden gnomes make bad pets. Charlie learned this to his detriment at 3.07am on November 12th, 1979.

7) Charlie's best subject at Hogwarts was Care of Magical Creatures. We worked out he might have a bit of a knack for it the year he coaxed four of Professor Kettleburn's pet bowtruckles to sing 'Silent Night' in pitch-perfect harmony for the Christmas Feast. Course, it wasn't exactly a scheduled part of the celebrations, and Professor Binns never really forgave him for interrupting his speech on the history of plum pudding, but everyone else liked it. Particularly when the bowtruckles stampeded as an encore, knocking over several candles, and setting Gardenia Noble's wig on fire.

8) Charlie's first kiss happened ~~just last week~~ two days after his twelfth birthday. While lots of people kiss people and then insist they didn't mean to, Charlie actually _did_ trip and lock lips with Susan Fletchpole as an unfortunate side effect of grabbing her arm to keep his balance. They both ended up on the floor and Susan developed a crush that didn't die for four long years. Charlie just developed an aversion to being anywhere I could trip him up.

9) The day after I had sex for the first time, the little bastard owled me a box of Honeydukes best chocolate-covered cherries, right there at the breakfast table, with a note that said "to replace the one you lost." Fucker.

Good chocolate, mind.

10) About a month after Charlie started work at the ranch in Romania, one of the Welsh Green's hatched a nest of kits, including a runt who almost died. The powers that be were going to get shot of the runt – but Charlie saved him, fed him by hand and took care of all his medical needs, day and night for two bloody years.

I've never been so proud of my brother as the day that dragon – Wyatt, by name – flew for the first time. The smile on Charlie's face was the best thing I've ever seen.

I tripped him up soon after.


End file.
